Having survived a sexual assault you may feel scared, confused and overwhelmed and it may feel difficult to trust people in order to get the help you deserve. Here is some information that might be helpful.
The most important thing is that you are not alone in this. We can help. BARCC offers all young people, of all genders and sexual identities, over the age of 12, free confidential counseling, medical accompaniment, legal services, and a 24 hr hotline.
BARCC’s goal is to help you regain control of your life and feel empowered to make decisions about your care.
Nervous about contacting us? Maybe answers to some of the questions that we have heard from other young people might help.
Q. What is rape?
A. Massachusetts law defines rape as penetration of a bodily orifice (vagina, anus, or mouth) by a penis or other body part, or an object, against a person’s will or without his or her consent.
Q. What is sexual assault?
A. Legally, penetration must have occurred for the crime to be considered rape. The definition for sexual assault is a little bit broader. Massachusetts legal definition: “Any sexual activity that is forced or coerced.”
Q. What is statutory rape?
A. Charges of statutory rape can be brought against any adult, male or female, who engages in sexual activity with a minor, even if the minor is willing to engage. Refer to BARCC’s legal advocacy section for more information about who is legally able to give consent to sexual activity. Please take a look at our section on Legal Advocacy for more information.
Q. Is it rape if I am a minor and the person I had sex with is an adult?
A. It is illegal for an adult to have sex with a minor. This is called statutory rape.
Q. What is sexual harassment?
A. Sexual harassment is any unwanted and unwelcome sexual behavior. Sexual harassment can include: pinching, touching, grabbing body parts, sexual notes or pictures, graffiti, being cornered, forced to kiss someone or coerced to do something sexual, making suggestive or sexual remarks, gestures, verbal comments, gossip or spreading rumors about someone’s sexuality.
Q. What do I do if I was just raped?
A. There are many ways to get immediate help.
- Call or contact a friend or family member whom you trust, so you are not alone.
- Call BARCC hotline 617-492 RAPE and talk to a counselor about your options. You might want information about how to report the experience to the police or whether to go to the hospital.
- Make an appointment to see a counselor at BARCC or get referrals for other emergency care givers in your area.
Q. What do I do if a friend was just raped?
A. There are many things you can do for a friend who is in immediate crisis.
- Listen: Often, a person in crisis just needs someone to hear her/his story. You can show you are really listening by not judging them or questioning what you are hearing.
- Be supportive: It’s natural for you to have beliefs and attitudes that will be challenged by what your friend is telling you, but, hold your opinions. Right now your friend needs to be heard.
- Let your friend decide what she wants to talk about: Don’t push your friend to talk about things she’s not ready to discuss. Don’t pry. Speak calmly and gently.
- Remind your friend that you care: You can show affection by listening, speaking calmly and gently, believing them and keeping an open mind.
- Have your friend contact us about getting services.
Q. Why do I feel like I’m going crazy?
A. Individual responses can vary from person to person. It’s important that you recognize that your feelings are valid and matter. Some common reactions, but not the only reactions include:
- Memories of the experience come into your mind spontaneously
- Difficulty trusting others
- Shame and self blame
- Anger and rage
- Guilt and/or responsibility
- Feeling betrayed and alone
- Feeling the need to isolate yourself from family and friends
- Fear, terror, feeling unsafe
- Sadness and grief
- Feeling powerless, out of control, overwhelmed, anxious or depressed
- Experiencing nightmares or difficulty sleeping at night
Q. Do my parents have to know that I’m getting help at BARCC?
A. Under certain circumstances, minors under the age of 18 can receive medical and counseling services without their parent’s consent. Some hospitals, medical providers and rape crisis centers are willing to provide treatment without parental consent if they have a concern about sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy.
Q. What can I do if I feel I am being sexually harassed in school?
A. There are a lot of things you can do to get help if you feel you are being harassed.
- Tell someone you TRUST who can help you take the kinds of actions you want to take. This can be a friend, teacher, doctor, neighbor, family relative, parent, religious or community figure.
- Don’t blame yourself. Harassment is unwanted and can make you feel trapped, confused, helpless, embarrassed or scared. You didn’t ask for any of those things.
- Keep a written record of the incidents.
- Let the harasser know that you don’t like the behavior and the comments, if this feels safe.
- Find out who at your school is responsible for dealing with complaints about sexual harassment. Talk to a teacher, principal, nurse and or guidance counselor. Find someone you TRUST.
- Contact us. We can help.
Q. Is it my fault if I was partying with the person who hurt me?
A. Regardless of what you were doing or where you were, nobody deserves to be violated.
Click here to download BARCC’s handbook for survivors and their families.
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