Rape or sexual assault can and does happen to anyone, including men and boys.

In the USA approximately 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before age 16 and 1 in 12 men say that they have been raped or assaulted as an adult.

I feel so alone.
Being a survivor of rape challenges every aspect of our lives. As a man, it is difficult to admit to having been victimized, even to ourselves. Many men have survived sexual abuse as children, and many men have been sexually assaulted or raped as adults. You are not alone. BARCC offers counseling and groups specifically for male survivors.

I didn’t know this could happen to men.
Rape can happen to anyone. Reports of male rape are on the rise as awareness increases and male survivors feel more able to talk about it. Boys and men of all ages, races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, religions and socioeconomic backgrounds have been victimized.

This is all my fault.
No one asks to be sexually victimized. You may feel guilty or that you are somehow to blame. You may even feel confused or ashamed because you got an erection or ejaculated. These feelings and physical responses are normal, and are common reactions to what happened to you. Remember you did not deserve this, and you are no less of a man because of what happened.

I have so many thoughts and feelings, I’m so confused.
Whatever you are thinking or feeling: guilt, fear, shock, anger, sadness, loneliness, embarrassment, shame, or confusion – it’s okay. Men who have been sexually violated may think about and feel all these things and more. These are all common and expected reactions.
You may also feel suicidal, homicidal, vengeful, and have issues about your sexual identity. You may want to fight someone to show your masculinity and prove to yourself that you are tough and ‘still a man’. You may want to harm your perpetrator; turn to alcohol, drugs, or cut yourself; or lose interest in your appearance and health. You may feel homophobic and start to hate gay people. These are also common reactions, often exacerbated by societal expectations of masculinity. However, none of these reactions is beneficial to you as a survivor. Committing a crime against someone else may lead to incarceration and only increases your emotional turmoil.

Reaching out and getting support.
It may be difficult for you to talk about your experience, but there are people who understand and can help. Talking to someone about what happened will help you cope with your thoughts and feelings. BARCC is committed to making sure that everyone understands the reality of male sexual violence. You will be treated with the respect you deserve.
You may feel more comfortable talking with a male rather than a female counselor. There are trained male counselors available at BARCC who are able to listen and help. BARCC also provides referrals to professionals who have experience in working with male survivors.

BARCC offers comprehensive services to male survivors of rape and sexual assault, including a 24 hr hotline, medical accompaniment, legal advocacy, and individual and group counseling.

Click here to download BARCC’s handbook for survivors and their families.