Sometimes I feel that it is futile to fight back against the street harassment that I and many women experience on daily basis.  There are the direct comments, the overly-loud remarks to friends that are meant for me to hear, the snide remarks about my body, roaming eyes or the lewd gestures suggesting what some man wants to do.  It feels that I can’t walk down the street from my house to the T or from one office building to the next without feeling that my body is on display for the men around me. 

I do not walk down the street hoping that some man is going to shower me with references to my body or some sexual act.  Men need to understand that their comments and gestures are not compliments.  I do not need strangers commenting on my body in order to make me feel good about myself or to have a happy and complete day.  In fact it’s the exact opposite, these comments can ruin a perfectly good morning, afternoon, or day depending on the extent of the harassment.  Sexual and street harassment is an objectification of the woman.  She is no longer an entire person.  Instead, she is an object for the sexual pleasure and viewing of men. 

It can be completely exhausting to try and address each incident, but how do we decide which ones are worthy of our attention?  Should it be the ones that are verbal and said directly to us?  Should we ignore the physical gestures without verbal comments because, honestly, how does one address that without being told the movement was misinterpreted?  Should it depend on how many harassers there are - one is okay to address but if he’s with three friends maybe we should stand down?  Should it be like a random scientific experiment in which we do every third harasser?

And how should women be addressing it?  I’ve employed a variety of methods that don’t seem to be terribly effective.  I have ignored it and this only inflicts a barrage of insults thrown at me since I am not giving the harasser the attention he wants and thinks he deserves.  I have told harassers to shove off (but with a couple of other choice words) and this creates either laughter or insults from the harasser.  I have directly address the harasser and informed him that his behavior is sexual harassment, that is it unwanted, and then an explanation of how it makes not just me, but women in general feel.  This option always takes the longest and sometimes I just don’t have the time or energy for it.  While running to catch the train or make a meeting on time, I just don’t have the time to stop and engage in a ‘teachable moment’ with every other man on the street.  Therefore this harassment is left unchecked which is a form of quiet acquiescence on my part even though it leaves me seething as I quickly move to where I need to go. 

This is why I am so excited to know about Luce Tomlin-Brenner’s stand-up comedy.  She takes her experiences of street harassment and turns them into hilarious and educational sets.  It is so refreshing to see this new approach to addressing the problem.  Instead of addressing individuals after an episode of harassment, she tries to educate an entire room of people about how often women experience harassment and how degrading it is.  Comedy can be an excellent way to address issues as it offers the ability to talk about high-charged topics in a fun, safe, and humorous way.  Oftentimes women are told to lighten up or to get a sense of humor when they negatively react to street harassment.  When Tomlin-Brenner uses comedy, it cancels out that argument as she is relying on a light and comedic atmosphere to present this heavy material.  Using this format can help to defuse some of the defensiveness which typically arises when talking about street harassment in other forums.  In previous interviews about her comedy, she states that she has had men approach her after shows and comment that they never knew that street harassment had such an upsetting effect on women.  Her comedy has been able to reach scores of people who may have never thought of street harassment as a dangerous activity.  The first steps to shifting cultural norms is recognizing, naming, and acknowledging the problem.  Tomlin-Brenner’s comedy is able to do this.  See the clips below and be sure to check her out if she comes to a town near you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMQAIVAPRtY Oversharing by Luce Tomlin-Brenner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQQwQp4mBtw Luce Tomlin-Brenner at SlutWalk DC 2011

Written by: Stacey

Despite the unseasonably warm weather, the holidays are fast approaching.  Many positive emotions and memories accompany these upcoming weeks as family and friends will be reunited, delicious food will be prepared, and kind words, stories, and even gifts will be exchanged.  The next seven weeks, from Thanksgiving to New Year’s, is full of excitement and pressure as people plan for holiday travel and brace themselves for long lines at the airports, in the stores, and on the roads. However, the stress of cooking, shopping, traveling, and everything else seems to melt away as people are able to come together after potentially not seeing each other since last holiday season.

While many people often look forward to the holidays every year and take the impending stress as a small cost for being with loved ones, I also know that many do not look forward to the holidays and in fact dread their upcoming arrival.  The holidays can be an extremely stressful and difficult time for many survivors of sexual assault and rape.  In addition to all the previously mentioned stressors of the holidays, they can face many more barriers and anxieties while trying to get through the upcoming holiday heavy weeks. 

How might a survivor see and experience the holidays differently?

1. A survivor may have never told family members about an assault or act of incest that happened between them and a family member or family friend.  Alternatively, a survivor’s family may not have believed them or decided it was best to ‘sweep it under the rug’ and not address it.  The survivor is therefore left each holiday with a horrible choice: return home and celebrate the holidays with the perpetrator and people who either don’t know or were hostile towards the report or to stay away and miss being with their family.
2. A survivor may have told family members about the assault and been positively supported.  However, they are constantly reminded of the perpetrator each time they return home because of pictures, stories, or people.
3. Work colleagues and acquaintances frequently bring up the holidays as an easy conversation topic.  A survivor may not feel comfortable talking about why they are not going home or anywhere else for the holidays nor might they be comfortable lying about their plans.  Therefore, they could face a numerous questions about their choices with no real way to answer them.  Considering the number of acquaintances people interact with, this conversation can happen multiple times per day.
4. Alcohol is frequently used at holiday events: corporate parties, family gatherings, and celebrations with friends.  If the assault involved alcohol, then the survivor may be stressed about being involved in so many events where drinking is taking place with people that the survivor may or may not know very well.  The survivor may feel that they lose control of a lot of factors when alcohol is brought into the environment.
5. Airport security screenings are becoming increasingly invasive.  The new x-ray machine can cause fear that guards are able to see them naked.  Alternatively, the survivor can choose to be screened by a guard but that involves being touched, which could be even more triggering or traumatizing for the survivor.
6. Media, stores, and consumer areas are inundated with ‘happy people’, ‘happy families’, and repetitive holiday themed music and decorations.  This serves as a constant reminder to survivors that it is holiday season and while the majority of people are excited and happy, they are not feeling a similar way.  It could leave them feeling further disconnected from society or guilty for not being able to take part in the holiday festivities.
7. The assault may have happened around the holidays and many aspects about preparing for the holiday season can be triggering.
8. Survivors may have a lot of anxiety being around large crowds and strangers.  The frequency of these occurrences will increase with daily activities as more people are out and about getting shopping or decorating done.  There will be bigger crowds on the sidewalk, longer lines in the supermarket and other stores and in public transit stations.  This will also occur during travel: airports, gas stations, roads, bus and train stations are all going to be more and more crowded.
9. Holidays are a time when many people celebrate religion and make a better effort to go to the religious institution of their choice.  Survivors may feel betrayed by their religion or spiritual beliefs because of the assault. Frequent invitations to religious ceremonies and increased advertising by religious institutions can serve to be a reminder of these feelings of betrayal. 

CAN YOU THINK OF ANY OTHERS?

It is not always possible to know the reasons why people seem overly-stressed or anxious during the holiday season.  Although someone’s actions may not make sense to you, it is always a good idea to keep in mind that they could be dealing with a personal traumatic event, whether that is a sexual assault or not.  Acknowledge that these next several weeks have different meanings for everyone and that some people are just focused on surviving.  Be open and non-judgmental to the diverse reactions that people may have.  Know the proper resources where you can refer survivors.  (BARCC has a great 24-7 hotline!)  Most of all, be ready to listen and support friends, family, or colleagues who may reach out to you for help. 

I want to take a few moments to commend the people who created such a strong public outcry about the pro-rape pages on Facebook.  As a direct result of their efforts and perseverance, these pages have finally been removed.  If you haven’t heard about this then you can refer to http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-15641998 or http://www.change.org/petitions/demand-facebook-remove-pages-that-promote-sexual-violence or http://www.allfacebook.com/change-org-attacks-pro-rape-facebook-pages-2011-11 to catch up a bit.

Facebook ignored requests to remove the pages for months based on the reasoning that these pages were based on jokes rather than encouragement to rape or sexually assault women.  Many people and advocates did not agree with this reason and believed that it was hateful and violent speech and therefore should be banned based on Facebook’s own Terms of Service.  Rather than quitting after being constantly ignored by Facebook, a Change.org petition was created and over 180,000 signatures were obtained and a Twitter day of action was enacted on November 2. 

The movement created within the social media world - Change.org, Twitter, and even Facebook itself - was picked up by many news sources.  These pro-rape pages gained enough negative attention and public disapproval that major advertisers such as Sony, American Express, and Blackberry demanded that their ads be removed from these pages. 

What is so inspiring is the persistence of these tens of thousands of people who were committed to removing these pages.  They refused to listen to Facebook’s initial responses and demanded attention from a variety of different tactics.  This dedication and perseverance speaks volumes about the progress that our society and culture has made in regards to rape culture and what is considered acceptable behavior.  There is a difference between freedom of speech and hateful speech and many more people are recognizing language which is violent towards women is unacceptable and problematic within society at large.  It is incredible that an online campaign was able to obtain and maintain such strong momentum and forced Facebook to listen and pull the content.  If people had quietly fumed at Facebook or thought their individual thoughts did not matter then this outcome could not have been possible.  It required for individuals to be outraged and then to band together across cities, states, and countries to create enough of an uprising against Facebook to be heard.  Thank-you to the many people who participated, shared this information with friends, family, and acquaintances and created such a strong movement.  Your voices matter and you made sure that they were heard.  Congratulations.

It is stories like these that gives me and others hope that it is possible to change our culture and that there are numerous platforms on which to wage this fight.  It is going to take the work of many people and this story shows that there countless people out there who would like to see a world free of sexual violence and the rape culture that currently exists.

I would love to hear your reactions to either the creation of the pages, Facebook’s actions, or the actions of people to remove these pages. 

Written by: Stacey

Daily life is tricky for a woman in college. We juggle classes, jobs, volunteerism, socializing, relationships, and long distance relationships with our families. On top of that, we are being funneled into a job market that promises wages that won't be able to compete with our male peers and academic careers in which we will be frowned upon for tenure and secure assignments each semester. When we walk to class, we have to worry about cat calls. When we go to a party, we have to worry about getting attacked by someone we thought was an ally. We think about femininity, slut shaming, and gendered expectations of us every damn day, consciously or not.

On top of all of that, our statistical likelihood of getting assaulted is higher than the average woman- 1 in 4 versus 1 in 6. The high rate of toxic alcohol consumption partnered with a culture that both shames us for our behavior and dress, while telling us that "You are safe among students, this is your community" creates a veritable wasteland for college women.

Victim blaming has a shining pedestal when you are at university. Our campus police have gotten into the habit of sending emails that say "Watch your drink. Dress modestly. Go home with a friend," like any of that is the true cause of sexual assault. No matter how careful you are, you might get hurt. I partied a lot as a freshman, utterly sober and there for the purpose of watching out for my wisdom-lacking roommates. I can promise you that every single party of that blur of a year featured all of us being touched without consent, thrust mystery drinks into our hands, and men shaming us at the door for not dressing immodestly enough. It's as if they are expecting us to give them an excuse to attack us, as if victim blaming is so ingrained into college culture that provocative displays are expected and par for the course-and gives reason for a "youthful indiscretion". And, trust me, rape on college campuses is often see as an indiscretion, a mistake, and not a crime. What is it about a diploma that gives people sudden criminal consequences for their actions?

These are just some of the reasons I became a part of BARCC. This system is broken, and in the university microcosm, those problems are painfully obvious. College is supposed to be the best time of your life, but for many, it is a time of weariness and pain. And it has to stop. My name is Sarah-but you can just call me your friendly campus warrior. I'll be posting regularly on the BARCC blog, but don't worry-no midterms on this material.

Written by: Sarah

The latest topic that has gone viral on Facebook and Twitter is the ‘Amber Cole’ scandal.  I am deeply disturbed and appalled at the treatment of this story by the public in general, the news media, and social media platforms such as YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter.  People are incredibly focused on why a 14-year-old girl would give oral sex to an ex-boyfriend to win him back and her poor decision making skills.  There are numerous articles, FB postings, tweets, and stories asking what she was thinking and why she would be so careless.

‘Amber Cole’ did not engage in these activities by herself, nor did she tape herself in this situation.  There was a boy who was receiving oral sex, one of his male friends who was watching, and a second male friend who was videotaping.  An exceedingly small portion of media and public attention is focused on any of these three boys.  People are questioning where the girl’s parents are, why she chose to do this in the back of the school, why she opened herself up to the risk of being videotaped and blasted all over the Internet, and what type of reputation does she want to have.  Media sources are referring to it as the ‘Amber Cole’ scandal and video.  Where is the discussion about the three other people in this situation?  All three of these boys made decisions as well.  One decided to ask for oral sex from the girl, one decided to video-tape it, one decided to stand and watch.  Additionally, someone decided to post it online. Why aren’t people asking about the boys’ decisions and actions in this situation?  Both the public and the media are ignoring these male participants and creating a discussion based solely around the female participant.

One aspect that I find disturbing is how this girl can be criticized for giving oral sex behind a school building but the boy is not criticized for asking for it behind a school building.  Society does not question or shame boys for asking for sex and, it appears to me, actually expects them to ask and engage in sexual acts.  On the flip side, society still expects girls to be the control factor in these situations, to say no, and to maintain their impeccable moral character.  These expectations remove the responsibility that the boys have in this scenario and places all of it square on the shoulders of ‘Amber Cole’.  Several news stories have posted about the countless number of hateful and deplorable postings her FB and Twitter page received before she had to take them down.  None of the articles focused on the backlash that the boys received, which leads to the assumption that they did not receive much negative attention to their personal pages. 

Another aspect that is problematic is the percentage of media and general public blame the girl for the creation of video and its viral status within the social media world.  Why should ‘Amber’ in this case be responsible for the boys’ actions?  She did not create this video nor did she decide to post it on Facebook and YouTube so that countless other teenagers and adults could view it.  The boy who had the camera created this video and it is debatable whether she even knew a recording was being made.  The boy receiving oral sex saw the camera as did his male friend standing nearby but Amber was already facing away from the camera when the video started.  The boys, as the initial holders and distributors of the video, are responsible for how it went viral, whether they uploaded it directly or sent it out by cell and one of their friends uploaded it..  The discussion should focus on why these boys thought it was appropriate to make a video in the first place and then distribute it, rather than on how this girl should expect to be videotaped. 

The last discussion point I want to make, although it is certainly not the last problem, is the length of time it took for the video to be removed from YouTube and the number of viewers who sought out the video.  This video is of two teenagers, at least one of whom is 14 years old. YouTube has explicit guidelines that pornographic and sexually explicit material cannot be posted on the site.  Therefore, even if these two people were of proper age to be in a pornographic video and had full knowledge and gave full consent, this material is NOT allowed on YouTube.  Secondly, YouTube states that they work with law enforcement and report any material that could contain child exploitation.  However, despite the viral status of the video, it took YouTube four days in order to remove the video from their site.  During these four days, thousands of people, adults included, flocked to YouTube to watch a 14-year-old girl give oral sex to her ex-boyfriend and then sent the link to others so that they could tune in as well.  How are the actions of these people any different from those who send around pornographic material of children and teens?  The content and circulation of both of these types of material are harmful and exploitative to the minors who are involved.  The fact that this video was posted to a public social media website does not negate the fact that it includes minors engaging in sexual behaviors.  YouTube should have acted faster to remove the content and the viewers should have flagged the content rather than passing it on to others.

Written by: Stacey